“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley
I don't know if it was Bob Marley who actually uttered this lengthy quote, but I could see myself someday reading this on the alter. I think this sentiment is one that should be remembered on a wedding day; our job is not to fix our future husbands or boyfriends. Our job is to find a man we love simply because he is who he is. Not only do we in the Disney generation think that we're entitled to Prince Charming, we think that we are Princesses who never got a movie. Some of us are still waiting to discover long lost Royalty in our ancestry. We expect perfection. We want the fairy tale. But maybe we aren't the royalty we presume ourselves to be.
I am starting to realize that 75% of the fights I find myself in with my significant other will circle back to some goal I've made for him that he is not reaching. He should be more loving, he should lose some weight, he should do more spontaneous things, he should be less like himself and more like the arbitrarily concocted boyfriend I cooked up in my mind at the age of 12. He doesn't live up to the ridiculous standards I set for myself as a prepubescent idiot with no idea what I wanted in a man, so he must be a failure.
Luckily, I have found the one man on the planet that will put up with my particularly nutty brand of bullshit. He doesn't follow me around with a fine tooth comb, harping on my imperfections and demanding change. He simply loves me for who I am. And isn't that what it's all about? Finding someone who is easy to love and loves you back without demanding change? It's about time I got past the delusion that my life will morph into a happily-ever-after and accept the wonderful things I have to be happy about.
